I Question

I question the choices that brought me here
Why do I live the way I do?
Why did I choose this life
When being like everyone else would have been so easy?

After all these years, what do I have to show for it?
I chose pain for the God I can't see
I chose the hard path for a future family I don't have
I chose to stay faithful to one woman I haven't even met yet

Everyone else can take the easy road
I cannot
Everyone else can live for the moment
I cannot
They say this makes me noble
It doesn't feel that way

Do I merely follow my God because of what He might give me?
Am I no better than those who go the world's way for selfish gain?
They say I am a good man
I feel like a hypocrite

So very tired
The narrow path is a long one
So very exhausted
Do you still see me?

At times, I resent this road
I resent being different
I resent fighting the good fight
I grow weary of a tunnel that seems never ending

Am I a fool?
Have I sacrificed for nothing?
Should I even be asking this question?
Shouldn't I follow my God simply because He is good?
I wish I had such faith

Meet me where I am
Speak to me, speak to my soul
What will You say?
Have I never stopped to listen?

I'm scared
And I question the road You've led me down

Don't leave me
For now, I don't need You to give me anything
I just need You here now
Maybe I've striven all these years in vain
Maybe I am a fool
But please, draw close to me now
I don't understand, and maybe I don't have to
Just please, comfort me now
Hold me in Your arms
And don't ever let go