Just to let you know, the title has absolutely nothing to do with this blog entry.
Let me tell you a story.
I was at junior college, waiting for my class to start. But alas, my class did not start for another few hours. So, I decided I would sit in on my sister Alisa's class. It was a music class, so I didn't expect to contribute anything at that particular visit. The teacher began class by laying out what was and wasn't in that class, what you needed to know to stay in the class, ect.
Anyway, I was sitting there, contently listening, when the teacher began to pass out a test to evaluate the students' musical knowledge. When the test came to me, I took one and passed the rest back to the student behind me. I pondered, and thought that I should probably leave the test blank, and hand in it when the time was up.
But then, I thought that if I left it blank, and the teacher saw the blank test, he would ask why I left it blank, and then I would have to admit that I had no business being in that class. So I answered the questions to the best of my ability, hoping the teacher would merely check to see if I had answered the questions but not grade them until that night, like he said he would.
So I got to the first problem. The test said I had to fill in my name. I knew I couldn't write my real name, so I wrote: Phil Morgan-Jorgan. Phil being the first name, and Morgan-Jorgan being the last name. Then I read the first question. It said the name the four notes shown in the picture. So I wrote: flat, sharp, who knows?, and maybe.
The second question was, name the keys displayed in this strand of music. There were four places to put my four answers. So I wrote: Door Key, Car Key, Mailbox Key, & Donkey.
The third question was, something like "describe this scale". It had two spaces for answers, so I wrote: Fish scale & lizard scale.
The fourth question was, something like "name this chord". It had four answers, so I wrote: Diameter, 2 dogs, and a partridge, & in a pear tree.
The last question was, something like "describe this note". So I wrote: Hi mom.
Then I turned over to the next page, which told me to write my name and phone number again. After I filled in them in (both were fake), I had answer a few questions about myself. First it asked if I had any musical experience. It had a "yes" and a "no" for me to circle. So I wrote "maybe" and circled that.
Then it told me to briefly describe my musical background. So I wrote, "La la la la la la." I guess I should've written "Do instruments of torture count?"
After that, I waited until the teacher said to hand in the tests. So I got up, along with a lot of other students, to hand in the test. All the while, under the impression that the teacher would put the tests in a pile, and then grade the tests later that night, like he said he would. But as I walked up there, I saw him look at each test carefully, and then put in a pile. Worry began to set in. And then, right when I was about to give the teacher my test, another student walked up and asked the teacher a question. While the teacher's attention was diverted, I quickly put the test on the pile and calmly walked back to my seat. I was confident the student asking the question would put his test on top of mine, hiding it from view.
As I was calming down from that close call, the teacher got up, and said, "Who's Phil Morgan? Uh, Morgan... Jorgan? Is he here? Has he already left? Does anyone know him?"
Oh boy. Oh boy. This was bad. Very bad. My cheeks blushed as I was certain that I would be caught now. I tried my best to keep a straight face. At this point, Alisa was wondering, "Why hasn't anyone said that they know him?"
The teacher then began to read the test in his mind more carefully. He then chuckled to himself and said to the class, "Wow, look at this. Now, Rachel, here, will witness that I am not lying..." He went to a girl at a front desk and had her look at the test. "See it says, "Door Key, Car Key, Mailbox Key, and Donkey.'" As soon as he said donkey, the entire class began laughing. At first, I tried to keep a straight face. Then I realized that I really wasn't Phil Morgan-Jorgan, I would be laughing too. So I let out the laughter that I was keeping in.
At that point, Alisa realized that I was Phil Morgan-Jorgan. Then the teacher mentioned my answer that read, "Diameter, 2 dogs, and a partridge in a pear tree." Then a few students behind me were saying things like, "Who is this guy?", and "Maybe he's a poet".
The teacher went on to say, "This is really creative. I am keeping this. Whenever I come across things like this, I make it a point to hold on them."
Then a student walked to the front of the class to talk to the teacher. The teacher then showed the student my test and said, "See, at the scale question, it says, 'Lizard scale, fish scale.' Get it? Because lizards and fish have scales?"
After the class (and the teacher) got over that incident, the teacher continued with a few more statements about future classes and then dismissed the class. As soon as I got outside, I whispered to Alisa, "Wait until we are far away from this class."
When we were a sufficient distance away, Alisa said, "I can't believe you actually did that." We talked about it for a few minutes, and then walked to our next class.
And that, is the end my yarn. With the end of this story, you will see a poll at the side of this blog. You can decide for yourself whether this story is true or not. After a few weeks, I will tell you.
