Friday, May 30, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
DS Report 7: The Tale of Camel-Aboo
Have you ever heard of the tale of Camel-Aboo? Ahh, it is a grand story. It is definitely one to be heard. But to hear it, you must come closer. Please, come closer. No, closer. What don't you understand about closer!? Grunt. Too close. Ahh, that's better. Now, let me tell you of this lamp. It's not an oil lamp. Nor is it triggered by rubbing. No, this is an electric lamp triggered by this switch. It was made by Edison-Aboo. But that is another story. Camel-Aboo was a man of few possessions. All he had was a camel, a pack full of salesmen goods, and this electric lamp. Do not be fooled by it's common looks. Wait! Come back! Do not switch to another blog! This is no ordinary lamp! It is not what is on the outside, but what is inside. An electric circuit to be exact. Anyway, it all happened on a dark night of dark deeds.
Long ago, in the town of Camelsville, there lived a salesman named Camel-Aboo. He sold ice cold Slushies and hot dogs. Along with him was his trusted sidekick, The Camel. It's easier to remember his name that way. One day, while he was wandering the streets of Camelsville, he saw the lamp. He picked it up curiously, and examined it. When he flipped the switch and the light snapped on, he dropped it in surprise. It did not bite. So, slowly, he picked it up again. He saw it generated light. He flipped the switch again. The light turned off! "This is amazing!" He thought. "I must duplicate this device!" And he did. Through many explosions and electrocutions, he succeeded.
Although this made the people very happy to not go blind at the age of ten, it did not make all of the citizens of Camelsville happy. One man, Jafar, owner of Jafar Oil Lamps Incorporated, was going out of business. He needed to get that lamp, duplicate it, and destroy Camel-Aboo's salesman stand. With that, his future in the lamp-making business would be secure.
Scuffling reached the ears of The Camel. If he could talk (which he couldn't, mind you) he would have told Camel-Aboo about this. But he couldn't. It was Jafar! He was about to grab a lamp when Camel-Aboo walked past. Jafar quickly jumped into a bush. Unfortunately, it was a rose bush. "Oww! Oww!" Jafar exclaimed. "Sticker Bushes! Sticker Bushes! Sticker Bushes!"
Many Arabian nights before
Long ago, in the town of Camelsville, there lived a salesman named Camel-Aboo. He sold ice cold Slushies and hot dogs. Along with him was his trusted sidekick, The Camel. It's easier to remember his name that way. One day, while he was wandering the streets of Camelsville, he saw the lamp. He picked it up curiously, and examined it. When he flipped the switch and the light snapped on, he dropped it in surprise. It did not bite. So, slowly, he picked it up again. He saw it generated light. He flipped the switch again. The light turned off! "This is amazing!" He thought. "I must duplicate this device!" And he did. Through many explosions and electrocutions, he succeeded.
Although this made the people very happy to not go blind at the age of ten, it did not make all of the citizens of Camelsville happy. One man, Jafar, owner of Jafar Oil Lamps Incorporated, was going out of business. He needed to get that lamp, duplicate it, and destroy Camel-Aboo's salesman stand. With that, his future in the lamp-making business would be secure.
Scuffling reached the ears of The Camel. If he could talk (which he couldn't, mind you) he would have told Camel-Aboo about this. But he couldn't. It was Jafar! He was about to grab a lamp when Camel-Aboo walked past. Jafar quickly jumped into a bush. Unfortunately, it was a rose bush. "Oww! Oww!" Jafar exclaimed. "Sticker Bushes! Sticker Bushes! Sticker Bushes!"
"Who's there?" Camel-Aboo said. "Show yourself."
"It's just me," Jafar said, "It's Jafar."
"Oh, Jafar. What are you doing here?"
"Well, I'm... hunting for desert rabbits."
"Oh. Bye." With that, Camel-Aboo walked away.
Jafar grabbed a lamp and roared an evil laugh. Just then, The Camel spit at the light bulb. You know that electrical circuits and liquid don't go well together, so the bulb exploded and Jafar got electrocuted.
"Stupid camel," Jafar seethed, "Take that!" Jafar kicked The Camel. The Camel tipped over and knocked over a line of lamps like dominos. This caused the building behind them to collapse. As the building was collapsing, Camel-Aboo rushed in to save his camel. Right before they were buried, Jafar yelled to Camel-Aboo, "Give me the lamp!"
"Oh, okay." Camel-Aboo handed Jafar a lamp.
Jafar laughed another evil laugh and ran away. Jafar ran back to Jafar Lamps Incorporated. He didn't see the rock in the doorway to the building, so he tripped. The lamp flew out of his hands and hit an oil barrel. The barrel broke open, and the light bulb broke. Sparks flew everywhere, including on the oil.
As Camel-Aboo and his camel cleaned up the rubble and repaired the lamps, they saw an explosion over at Jafar Oil Lamps Incorporated. Not knowing what it was, they shrugged (including the camel) and went back to work.
While Camel-Aboo became the Middle East's number one supplier of electric lamps, Jafar settled for the life of a salesman, selling the unique Chocolate Jabar. I bet you're thinking this story sounds familiar. Well, copyright infringement usually does. You're probably also wondering what the moral of the story is, too. Sorry, but there is no moral. This story is only supposed to tell you how electricity came about in the Middle East. Now, leave me alone. I'm a salesman too, you know. And I have to sell some Sultine Crackers. Get it? Sultan? Saltine? Oh, never mind.
Goodbye.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
DS Report 6: A Jumble of Silliness
I have an urgent report for all you people out there! The movie, "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" has come out in theaters! If you haven't seen it yet, go watch it! If you've already seen it, go watch it again! (I know I did!) If you've already seen twice, buy it when it comes out on DVD!
Oh, and I saw a dead squirrel today. Road Kill! When will they learn to stay on the sidewalks!
And another thing I want to talk about is... Left-handed people. I mean, really! Is there anything more annoying, than using the keyboard after they did, and the mouse is on the wrong side! Don't these people know they shouldn't be different! (I don't need to tell you if I'm joking or not. Just look at the title!)
Hey, hey, peoples, I'm a frog!
I love fuzzy, polliwogs!
There once was a magical tuna, who lived in the great white sea.
He lived next to a scary shark, who had him with ice tea!
There once was a magical penguin, who lived in Shakespeare's tree.
He lived next to another penguin, who was rehearsing Hamlet part three!
copyright 2008. All right reserved. "DS" is a trademark of Drew's Blog, sponsored by the American Penguin Factory.
Oh, and I saw a dead squirrel today. Road Kill! When will they learn to stay on the sidewalks!
And another thing I want to talk about is... Left-handed people. I mean, really! Is there anything more annoying, than using the keyboard after they did, and the mouse is on the wrong side! Don't these people know they shouldn't be different! (I don't need to tell you if I'm joking or not. Just look at the title!)
Hey, hey, peoples, I'm a frog!
I love fuzzy, polliwogs!
There once was a magical tuna, who lived in the great white sea.
He lived next to a scary shark, who had him with ice tea!
There once was a magical penguin, who lived in Shakespeare's tree.
He lived next to another penguin, who was rehearsing Hamlet part three!
copyright 2008. All right reserved. "DS" is a trademark of Drew's Blog, sponsored by the American Penguin Factory.
Monday, May 19, 2008
DS Report 5: A train of thought
DS Report 5
Have you ever wondered how the mind comes up with answers?
Example: Someone asks you, "Can you tell me where you hid your money?"
How does the mind come up with an answer? Here's how: First, the mind thinks of one of the words in the question and goes from there. The mind chooses "tell". Here is what the mind is thinking, "Tell. William Tell. Told. For whom the bells toll. Earnest Hemingway. Ernie and Bert. Bert. The one with the big nose. Nose/No's. Plural of 'No'." The brain's conclusion, "No."
But what if the brain chooses a different word? Say... "Can". Here it goes! Can. Canned meat. Meat. Nice to meet you. You/U. U is shaped like a horseshoe. Shoe. Your shoes are untied.
Un-tied. Un. Negative. Negative answer. Such as "No". The conclusion, "No."
So you see, this is how the brain works. Next time you contemplate your answer to a question, try to work out the answer this way. Hope you found this Downright Silly!
Have you ever wondered how the mind comes up with answers?
Example: Someone asks you, "Can you tell me where you hid your money?"
How does the mind come up with an answer? Here's how: First, the mind thinks of one of the words in the question and goes from there. The mind chooses "tell". Here is what the mind is thinking, "Tell. William Tell. Told. For whom the bells toll. Earnest Hemingway. Ernie and Bert. Bert. The one with the big nose. Nose/No's. Plural of 'No'." The brain's conclusion, "No."
But what if the brain chooses a different word? Say... "Can". Here it goes! Can. Canned meat. Meat. Nice to meet you. You/U. U is shaped like a horseshoe. Shoe. Your shoes are untied.
Un-tied. Un. Negative. Negative answer. Such as "No". The conclusion, "No."
So you see, this is how the brain works. Next time you contemplate your answer to a question, try to work out the answer this way. Hope you found this Downright Silly!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)