BEAK - Russia

This is a story about BEAK. BEAK stands for Bureau of Experienced and Advanced Kommandos. They are a special team of five squads, 30 penguins in all. These penguins are the best of the best. They've cleared a checkpoint of enemy soldiers so a convoy of rescued POW's could cross the border into Europe. They infiltrated a top secret weapons facility and switched a box containing a nuclear missile with a box full of fish. And they stole secret battle plans from an enemy general's pocket.

For these highly trained artic birds, no job is too impossible. But one day, they got a mission whose success would stop a global war and the destruction of America. How could one mission be so important? Well, you'll see, uh, read for yourself.

May 5, 2009
San Pico, Terrapenguin
FEATHER Academy

Corporal Pengy, a BEAK soldier, waited anxiously for the General Rockhopper to arrive. Pengy was an army ranger, but joined BEAK when he was recommended by 1st Lieutenant Beaky. The BEAK headquarters was undergoing renavation, so the BEAK team met at FEATHER Academy. FEATHER stood for Federal Entrenched Authorized Training Headquarters for Early Rangers.

General Rockhopper entered the room and sat down. He got right to the point. "Gentlepenguins, we have received a message from an American CIA agent named John Morefield. Here, I copied the message."

He distributed the copies and Pengy read it:

Highly Classified
Double Agent Notice

1. I have reason to believe that Agent Postlan is really Nikolai Buschnikov, a Russian double agent.
2. The blueprints to the top secret Particle Cannon are missing.
3. I believe that Buschnikov is responsible.
4. The CIA chief doesn't believe me, so I'm coming to you for help.
5. Requesting that you send a BEAK squad to recover the blueprints and find evidence against Buschnikov.

After the entire troop was done reading, General Rockhopper annouced, "I want you guys, Team 4 and 5, to take on this assignment. Teams 1-3 failed. Team 1 was mistaken for missing penguins on a wanted poster and were sent to the Spanish version of Seaworld, "MarMundo". Team 2 is somewhere is Zimbabwe. Don't worry, we have search teams to rescue them.

"What about Team 3?" asked a BEAK sergeant.

"Team 3 was very close to completing its objective, but was captured. Your objective, is to retrieve the blueprints to the Particle Cannon, find evidence incriminating Buschnikov, and locate the jail where Team 3 is being held. You don't have to rescue them, just locate them. We have another team at the ready."

"Where will we be dropped off?" asked Pengy.

"In Hiramsburg, Poland. There you will meet your contact, codenamed Adolphus. He will give more instructions."

"Will we be going in alone?" asked another.

"Yes, as usual," replied the general.

May 25, 2009
Hiramsburg, Poland
Turtle Forest

Team 4 of BEAK landed quickly and quietly. They treked through Turtle Forest, the quickest way to the safehouse, where their contact would be waiting. The penguins of BEAK carried mini-SPMGs (Silenced Penguin Machine Guns), and a Silenced Donkey .45 pistol. And, of course, Sergeant Swimmer carried his favorite drink, a spicy hot V8.

They made it to the safehouse in 15 minutes. Lieutenant Flipper knocked on the door. A man opened it and signalled them to come in quickly. When they were all settled, the man said, "I am Adolphus, your contact."

Lieutenant Flipper answered, "I believe you have something to tell us."

"Yes, I do. I have been searching for Buschnikov for five years. But now, I've located him. He's in a small abandoned town east of here. I haven't been able to enter his headquarters, I'm afraid."

"Well," Lieutenant Flipper began. "I think we can get in without too much trouble, eh boys?"

They all nodded, except Pengy. If he had an eyebrow, he would've raised it in suspiscion. He said, "Adolphus, how did you contact us?"

Adolphus looked confused and said, "Pardon?"

"How did you contanct us and tell the General you had information?"

"I, well, called him. By secure satellite phone."

"What is the general's name?"

Lieutenant Flipper interrupted, "Corporal Pengy, we don't have time for this! Adolphus take us to Buschnikov."

May 25, 2009
Outskirts of Hiramsburg, Poland
Buschnikov's headquarters

"Is this the place?" asked Lieutenant Flipper.

"Yes," answered Adolphus. "This is it."

"All right, move out!"

The BEAK squad carefully sneaked to the building. When they got to the door, Sergeant Swimmer gave the signal to standby, then kicked the door down. Lieutenant Flipper led the way. Pengy felt like he was being watched. They made their way up the stairs and to another door.

Convinced it was Buschnikov's room, Lieutenant Flipper kicked the door open and aimed his gun. No one was in the room. Pengy felt his feathers stand on end. Flipper scanned the room and slowly walked inside. When the entire BEAK team was inside the room, they heard a man yell, "Drop your weapons! We have you surrounded."

The room swarmed with Russian soldiers carrying AK-47 machine guns. The BEAK team dropped their weapons and held their wings up (which is quite a comical sight). Lieutenant Flipper asked inquisitivley, "Who are you?"

The man chuckled evilly and said, "I'm John Morefield. Don't worry, the soldiers don't understand English." He motioned to the Russians.

Pengy said, "Why did you do it? What's this all about?"

"Don't you see?" Morefield said. "I'm Nikolai Buschnikov. That's my codename. I'm a double agent for the Russians. Just in case the Russian double-cross me, they don't know who I really am. And I'm the reason Team 3 was captured. I was watching you the whole time.

"The Russians want America, but they can't do it openly, or the world will turn against Russia. So, they need to discredit America. The Russians were planning on destroying Terrapenguin with a nuclear missile. But then the blame would fall on Russia. So, we needed an American weapon. One that the world knew only the Americans had. That's when I stole the blueprints to the Particle Cannon and gave it to the Russians. But there was one thing that could stop them. You, the BEAK forces. Now that you're out of the way."

Pengy spat and said, "You traitorous swine! How could you betray your country!?"
Morefield smiled and said, "It's easy when you're being offered 2.5 million big ones. Now, enough talk."

He said something in Russian, then the soldiers put away their AK-47's and pulled out tranquilizer guns. They picked their targets and fired.

May 26, 2009
Petersburg, Russia
A Russian POW Compound

Corporal Pengy awoke with an aching head. He instinctavily reached for his mini-SPMG. It wasn't there. He groaned. He took in his surroundings with frustation. He was in a jail cell with steel bars. He saw that his fellow BEAK comrades were all sitting up against the cell wall.

Lieutenant Flipper looked over at Pengy and said, "Awake, are you? Well, you'll soon wish you were still unconscious. They will soon be here."
Pengy sat up and asked, "They? They, who?"

"The guards. They come twice a day to 'taze' us."

"Taze?"

"Electricute."

Pengy's eyes widened in disbelief. "What? But... we have to do something! We're BEAK. We can get out of anything!"

Flipper continued to stare at the ceiling and said, "Not this, soldier. There are some things even us can't do. We're only penguins. Not miracle workers."

Pengy leaned back against the wall in hopelessness. They were the only thing standing between the Russians and America. Now the land of the free would fall, and it was all his fault.

Sergeant Swimmer pulled out his spicy hot V8 and began drinking. Pengy watched him drink, not really thinking about anything. Then it hit him. That's it! Pengy grabbed the V8 and said, "Guys! It's time to escape!"

Flipper sighed and said, "What are you talking about? How is a can of V8 gonna help?"
Pengy waddled over to the bars and began pouring the vegetable juice on the bars.

Sergeant Swimmer yelled, "Hey! That's mine! That's the only drink we have in here!"
Pengy continued his work and said, "Shhh! Do you want the guards to hear you?"

Flipper was just wondering if Pengy had gone mad when he heard a sizzling sound. He look at the bars and saw that they were disintegrating! Flipper's eyes widened and whispered, "Pengy you're a genius! Come on!"

The BEAK team pushed through the bars and crawled out. They walked down the hall and turned the corner. Eventually they found a table with their SPMGs on them. But it was guarded by a man with a tazor. Sergeant Swimmer made quick work of him with his flipper. After the team was armed, they navigated the halls to a map stapled on a wall. It showed that the laboratory was three doors down and that the second jail was down the hall and to the left.

The BEAK team sneaked into the laboratory and tobogoned their way to the scientists. After a few good slaps, they climbed onto the table. It was the blueprints to the Particle Cannon. Flipper slipped them into his backpack and then directed his team to the second jail. When they arrived at the hall, a private asked, "Why are we here, sir? We should be getting out of here."

Flipper answered promptly, "We can't. Team 3 of BEAK is being held in here, I'm sure of it. You all know the penguin credo."

Swimmer rubbed his chin and asked, "Never bathe in hot oil and bisquick?"

Flipper slapped his forehead and said, "No!"

Pengy asked, "Is it, 'Oink oink, suey!'?"

Flipper turned to his team and said, "No that's the Piglet credo! It's 'never leave a penguin behind'. Now let's go!"

They entered the jail and toboganed on the floor until they reached a cell that held penguins. A penguin stood up and said, "Lieutenant Flipper! I am glad to see you! Get us out of here, I don't think my team can take anymore 'tazing'."

Flipper smiled and said, "No problem. Sergeant Swimmer, the can."

Swimmer gave Flipper his can of V8 and sizzling followed shortly thereafter. The teams made there way back to the map, and they continued down a hall. Halfway through, Pengy saw a door that said, "Buschnikov". Pengy signalled his team to stop and said, "This must be Morefield's office."

Lieutenant Slapper, the leader of team 3, said, "so what? We need to get out of here."

Pengy answered, "We need evidence against Morefield. This is our only chance to get rid of him once and for all."

Lieutenant Flipper sighed and said, "He's right. Swimmer, Slapper, go with Pengy. The rest of you follow me outside. I think I saw a halftrack out there. Join us when you're done. Give me your radio. I'm gonna call for a helicopter."

Pengy slowly opened the door. Seeing that the room was clear, he climbed on top of the desk and began opening the droors. Then he found a file marked, "Operation Discredit America". He opened it, with the help of Swimmer and Slapper, and saw that it outlined Morefield's entire plan. They carried the heavy file to the door and into the hallway when a guard spotted them. Slapper let go of the file and slapped the guard as he was yelling, "The prisoners have escaped! The prisoners have..."

Everyone ran to the door with the file and went outside. When they saw a halftrack full of penguins pull up, they hopped in. Lieutenant Flipper ordered, "All right, you two privates go to the pedals, when yell 'gas' or 'break', push hard on the corresonding pedal. Sergeant Swimmer, get to the steering wheel. I'll get on the dashboard and tell you where you're going. You two! Get to the M6O Machine Gun and reload it when necessary. Corporal Pengy! Man the M6O! Lieutenant Slapper, I saw a couple of CDs on the floor. Let's hear some music. Everyone else, operate the clutch and air conditioner."

They all heard a rumbling sound behind them. It was the Russians. They had entered trucks, motorcycles and jeeps. Flipper shouted, "Put it in Drive! Maximum speed!"
The halftrack sped foward with the Russian vehicles in close pursuit. Flipper commanded, "Pengy! Open Fire! Slapper! Hit 'Play'!"

Suddenly, "Blue (Da ba dee)" began playing.

Pengy remarked, "Oh, I like this song."

Swimmer added, "It never gets old."

Flipper smiled and said, "It is kinda catchy, isn't it?"

BEAK was now being chased 5 motorcycles, 5 trucks, and 2 jeeps. At first, Pengy just sprayed and prayed. Then he realized his eyes were closed. He opened them shot in short bursts, which he found were far more accurate.

Lieutenant Flipper yelled, "Pengy! Hit the engine compartment!"
Pengy did as ordered. The truck exploded. It skidded to a stop, rolled, and landed on its side in the middle of the road. Three of the trucks crashed into it, along with three motorcycles. The rest kept chasing. Pengy continued shooting at the engines. Soon, only the 3 motorcycles were left. Pengy waited for the other penguins to reload his gun, then he opened fire. There was only one motorcycle left. Pengy squeezed the trigger. But nothing happened. He tried a few more times, then yelled, "Reload my gun!"

The BEAK reloaders replied, "There's no more ammunition!"

Flipper turned to Slapper. "Get out the map. We need to get to the extraction point. The helicopter will land any minute."

Slapper found the extraction point circled on the map. "Hey, Sergeant Swimmer! Turn left! We can take a short cut through the Min Feld."

The halftrack jerked to the left. Flipper quickly yelled, "That's a mine field you ding-dong! Swimmer, turn around!"

Eventually they made it to the extraction point, but the motorcycle was close behind. Lieutenant Flipper saw the helicopter in the air and said, "We made it, boys."

But the celebration was short-lived. The halftrack hit a rock and tumbled over. It landed on its side on the soft grass. Pengy was dazed, fighting to keep conscious. He realized he was exhausted. Then he saw the Russian on the motorcycle get off, approach the halftrack, and pull out an AK-47. He aimed it at his team. Pengy was desperate. He had to stop the Russian! Pengy pulled out his Donkey .45 silenced pistol and aimed carefully. With a squeeze of the trigger, he had saved his team. Then he dropped to the ground in exhaustion.

The last thing he saw was the helicopter landing and Flipper picking him up. The last two things he heard was Lieutenant Flipper picking him and saying, "you're gonna be okay." The other thing was the music on the halftrack, which was now play "our God is an awesome God".

Epilogue

John Morefield: He was tried in court and sentenced to life in prison.
The Russians: Their plan backfired. Now Russia was discredited.
Pengy: He was given the Congressional Medal of Black & White, the highest honor to be bestowed on a soldier. Pengy was promptly promoted to Seargeant.
Flipper: He was promoted to Captain and given the Silver Star for leadership under pressure
Swimmer: He was given the Bronze Medal for excellent driving skills and for having a can of spicy hot V8 juice with him on the mission.
Particle Cannon: It was proven an invaluable weapon to the Americans and prevented Russia from invading Europe.
BEAK: The teams continued to complete seemenling impossible tasks for the Terrapenguin government.

Note: The Particle Cannon is not a real American weapon. Whether it is in production... is unknown.